Is screen really that bad for your child?

As a parent, you may feel guilty for letting your child spend time watching TV or playing online games. However, screens now feel like a staple of modern childhood. Cutting out all electronics is near on impossible.

Fortunately, in moderation and with appropriate boundaries, some screen time can be beneficial. That doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be cautious. There can be risks as well.

What are the benefits of screen time?

Technological advancement does bring benefits. There are ways that your child can use a screen that will help and support them.

Social Connection

The world is not like it was for our grandparents. Families are often spread out, and those who live locally have busier schedules.

Videocalls, emails and picture messages are a great way to help your child connect with extended family. Emails can be an exceptionally fun way for children to get reading practice in, whilst also communicating with loved ones.

Video games can also be a safe way for children to socialise after school, if they are unable to meet their friends in person.

Of course, it is better for children to meet each other face to face to forge deeper relationships.

Education

There are a multitude of ways that children can learn through interacting with a screen. IF your child loves playing online games, you can use that passion to support their learning. There are educational games teaching a huge range of skills, such as spelling, maths and languages.

There are also kids’ YouTube channels that are designed to encourage children to learn about the world around them. It is worth being cautious with YouTube, however. Not everything on there, even on the kids’ channel, is appropriate.

Technical skills

Technology is ever-present in our modern world. Allowing your child exposure to screens can help them become familiar with how different technological tools work. Raising tech-savvy children will set them up for success in school and later in work.

The risks associated with screen time

So, in moderation, the screen is not really as bad for your child as some may have you believe. That does not, unfortunately, mean that it is all good either. Spending time in front of a screen, can impact your child in negative ways, too.

It is important to be aware of the risks of the screen, so that you can support your child in using it safely and hopefully avoid some of the negative impacts of too much time in front of a device.

Dopamine addiction

Dopamine is the feel good chemical that is released when you acheive something. It is the brains reward system, and the hormone behind that satisfied feeling you get when you succeed.

Dopamine is also released when your child watches the screen. This is especially true with fast-paced video games, which trigger quick releases of dopamine over a short time. This can lead to a dopamine addiction. There is very little outside of video games that will offer the same amount of dopamine, in such a short time with so little effort. Therefore, your child may begin to feel like they need to be in front of a screen in order to regulate their emotions.

With dopamine coming so easily from gaming, the normal bursts of dopamine that are awarded by activities that take more effort can seem less appealing. You will often find that a child who is addicted to screen will lose interest in other activities.

Impact on sleep

Spending time looking at a screen can seriously impact the quality of your child’s sleep. The closer to bedtime that your child has screen time, the greater the impact.

Sleep is the foundation of both physical and mental health. Therefore, when sleep quality is impacted, the knock-on effects can be significant.

Slower emotional and social development

Children learn and develop through interaction with those around them. Although they can indeed learn from the screen, they learn a lot more when they connect with the key adults in their lives. Unfortunately, excessive screen time can limit the amount of social interactions that children have with the world and the people surrounding them. This, in turn, can slow down their social and emotional development.

How to set healthy boundaries with the screen

Saying, ‘allow moderate use of screen’, is all very well, but in the day-to-day moments, it can be hard to work out. Some families set a timer, whilst others try to switch the TV off periodically.

What amounts to ‘moderate’ changes from family to family, also.

What is right for your family will be different from another family, but here are a few ideas to get you started.

No Screen for an hour before bed

We have already discussed the adverse impact of screens on sleep. Screen time close to bedtime can cause insomnia or restless sleep. Try switching the TV and other devices off at least an hour before your child goes to bed.

Instead, offer some quieter activities such as colouring or playing with Lego.

It is generally advised not to allow your child to have devices such as phones and tablets in their rooms.

Incentivise other activities

Rather than fighting with your child to switch off the screen, you can switch the focus and try to incentivise them to do other activities. Perhaps have a drawing competition, or let them earn a little pocket money for helping you around the house.

Often, when your child is engaged in an activity off the screen, you will find that they will get locked in and not think about the screen for a while.

Try to ensure that other activities are easily accessible. Sometimes, creating spaces for games, crafts, and fun can make them seem more appealing. For example, a reading corner with cushions, blankets and cuddly toys may make reading more fun.

No screen before chores

You probably know from personal experience that after a session binge binge-watching a show or half an hour scrolling on your phone, your motivation is probably pretty low. It is a lot harder to tear yourself away from a screen to get things done than to do them before you sit down.

Encourage your children to do chores and homework before screentime. If they enjoy watching or playing screen, this can be a great motivator for them to get things done.

No screens at meal times

Eating together is an important way to bond as a family. Therefore, it is imperative to ensure that your children are not disconnected due to screens during meal times.

This may seem hard when you go out to a restaurant. It can feel like the eyes of all the other tables are on you, and keeping your child quiet can become a desperate need. However, going out for a meal should be a social occasion, and by letting your child sit and watch a tablet, they are missing out on that.

There are many other things that you can take to entertain your child. Try to choose things that the whole table can engage in. Perhaps take a joke book, or some colouring. Card games or travel board games are great options, too.

Don’t be afraid to switch it off

It is important to teach your child the connection between responsibility and privilege. Watching or playing a screen is not a human right or a necessity. Rather, it is a privilege, and if your child is allowed it, it is important that they understand how to manage it responsibly.

Different families may have different expectations about how their children enjoy screens. Some expectations that are good to begin with are, switch the screen off when asked, while you are playing, you still respond to and respect people around you, and you do not lose your temper when you lose a game.

If your child is finding it difficult to carry the responsibilities, do not be afraid to switch the screen off. Sometimes a few days without technology can help your child to reset and engage in other activities.

Model what you want to see

Children learn through watching those around them. All observations are not equal, and they will learn more from watching those whom they look up to and respect the most, usually their parents.

You teach a lot to your child through the example that you provide.

What you do, therefore, and how you interact with screen can influence how they interact with screen. Setting a good example is not easy. So much of life nowadays is filtered through our phones, and even with the best intentions, it is natural that we spend more time looking at them than we may like. Try when possible, however, to put your phone on the side. Use it as a tool to support you, rather than something to hide behind.

Work through the discomfort

As a busy parent, it is normal to feel a little reliant on your child’s screen time. After all, that is the activity which will keep them the quietest, and requires the least supervision.

Truthfully, the first few times that you switch off your child’s screens will be uncomfortable. They may struggle to entertain themselves and begin coming to you complaining of boredom. After a while though, they will entertain themselves.

Being allowed to experience boredom is actually healthy for children and can encourage them to use their imaginations and initiative to entertain themselves.

A final note

To conclude, screens can be beneficial when used wisely and in moderation. It is important, however, to ensure that your child has the opportunity to engage with the world in person and form face-to-face relationships. This will support your child’s development and build up their self-esteem.

Managing screens will not be easy, especially in today’s world, but it is worth the effort.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

Arshad, Daneyal, et al. “The Adverse Impact of Excessive Smartphone Screen-Time on Sleep Quality among Young Adults: A Prospective Cohort.” Sleep Science, vol. 14, no. 4, 2021, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8776263/, https://doi.org/10.5935/1984-0063.20200114.

Cleveland Clinic. “Dopamine.” Cleveland Clinic, 23 Mar. 2022, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22581-dopamine.

Febres, Daniela. “Face-To-Face vs. Screen-To-Screen Communication: A Comparison | Atlantic International University.” Atlantic International University, 24 Oct. 2024, www.aiu.edu/blog/face-to-face-vs-screen-to-screen-communication-a-comparison/.

McMahon, Liv. “Screen Time in Bed Linked to Worse Sleep, Study Finds.” BBC News, 1 Apr. 2025, www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz79jpxzev5o.

Muppalla, Sudheer Kumar, et al. “Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development: An Updated Review and Strategies for Management.” National Library of Medicine, Cureus, 18 June 2023, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10353947/.

“The Dopamine Dilemma: Screen Time Addiction and the Developing Brain | One Education.” One Education, 6 May 2025, www.oneeducation.co.uk/the-dopamine-dilemma-screen-time-addiction-and-the-developing-brain/.

Yousef, Ahmed Mohamed Fahmy, et al. “Demystifying the New Dilemma of Brain Rot in the Digital Era: A Review.” Brain Sciences, vol. 15, no. 3, 7 Mar. 2025, www.mdpi.com/2076-3425/15/3/283, https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci15030283.

Please note, this article contains affiliate links and the author may earn commission on any purchases made via the links

Parents of children who eat well often suggest that to overcome fussy eating, you should insist your child eats what you give them. Parents of fussy eaters know that it is not that simple.

My son used to eat everything, and I joined the ranks of the smug parents, thinking, if you don’t make food an issue, it won’t be.

Then my son started not liking a few foods. Then a few more foods. In fact, at one point, the only meal I could be sure that he would eat was a butter wrap.

The truth is that fussy eating is something a lot of children go through. It is a perfectly natural stage, and can be incredibly frustrating. As a parent, you have a natural drive to want to care for and nourish your child. Therefore, when your child resists being nourished, it can feel infuriating.

Chances are that it will pass. Fortunately, you do not have to passively wait for it to improve. In fact, there are many things that you can do to help your child overcome fussy eating.

Why is my child fussy?

Your child is probably struggling with the sensory elements of some foods. Children can be more sensitive to tastes, smells and textures. If your child has eaten something and not liked the taste, smell or texture, they can be become nervous about eating unfamiliar foods.

Although sensory issues are the main cause of fussiness, there are other causes to look out for. Some children struggle with the motor skills to either cut or chew their food properly, leading to anxiety about eating the foods they are unable to handle.

Sometimes food intolerances or allergies can be at play. If a child does not feel well after eating particular foods, they may make the association and begin to avoid the foods that affect them.

If you want to understand why your child is fussy, it is important to talk to them. Remember, children can find it hard to express themselves, so be patient. To begin with, you may get vague reasons, “I don’t like it,” or “it isn’t very nice.” With a little support, however, your child may be able to explain what they dislike about different foods.

5 Ways to help your child overcome fussy eating

Once you understand why your child is struggling with different foods, you will be in a better place to help them overcome fussy eating.

Here are 5 ideas that you can try. None of these are instant fixes, but give them a try. Some of these you may need to try a few times to see a difference.

1. Let your child help prepare food

Giving your child an element of involvement in what they are eating can help them feel braver to try different things. Learning new skills can give children a boost in confidence, which can contribute to a happier relationship with food. Through cooking, children will also gain exposure and familiarity with a variety of foods.

There are many different children’s cookbooks, and child-safe kitchen tools to help get your child going in the kitchen.

As well as getting them to help cook, perhaps they could help choose and plan a meal. Depending on your child’s age, you could get them to help you write a list of what ingredients they need, then take them to the store and help them shop for the right groceries. Unfortunately, you will probably also have to help them pay at the end.

When the planning and cooking are done, don’t be discouraged if your child still refuses to try the food. You will still have given them food exposure, and hopefully helped to create a positive food memory.

2. Set meals out buffet style and let your child fill their own plate

Now that we have discussed giving your child a sense of involvement with food, we are going to look at a way to give them a sense of control.

When your child feels in control of their plate, they are likely to feel safer and more secure. This is a great place to start if you want your child to try new foods.

Rather than giving your child a full plate, set the food out in the middle of the table and let everyone serve themselves. You will be surprised by what foods your child may be willing to try when they are serving themselves.

Remember to make sure that there is at least one food that your child likes available. Praise them for trying new foods, and be patient with them if they try a few things and don’t like them.

3. Eat together

Children are social learners. This means that your child will be more likely to have a positive relationship with food if they see it modelled.

As you eat together with your child, you will have the opportunity to teach healthy eating habits through example. If your child knows you aren’t a big fan of a certain food, but you try it now and again, because “tastes change”, they may be open to retrying foods that they previously weren’t fond of.

Eating together is also a great way to bond with your child and create a sense of belonging and community.

With the demands of modern life, you may not be able to eat with your child every day, but fit in family meals as often as you are able. Make them fun, memorable moments.

4. Cut out unhealthy snacks

There has been a lot of research recently into the gut microbiome. The bacteria in your child’s tummy can impact their energy levels, mood, and food cravings. Hungry children can be hard to handle, which is probably why prepackaged snacks are so popular. Unfortunately, many children are eating foods high in sugar, salt, and preservatives, which is what they will crave.

Try timing meals so that they coincide with when your child is most likely to be hungry. That means that any ‘filler’ snacks will be after their main meal. It may mean eating earlier than you would like, but it can really make a difference in getting your child eating.

5. Reward Great Choices

As well as learning from observation, your child can also develop by having the experience of making the right choices.

That is why reward charts are so effective. They motivate your child to try a new behaviour, and in doing so, your child learns that they are more capable than they thought. Or in the case of food choices, that some foods are nicer than they expect, and the tastes they don’t like will wash away quickly enough.

There are a variety of ways that you could use reward charts to help your child overcome fussy eating. Maybe try focusing on a new food every day, research its food super powers, and give your child a chance to taste it and rate it out of 10.

Another fun reward game, is to see how many different plants they can eat in a week, over 30 gets a reward at the weekend. Perhaps let your child come to the supermarket to see what fruits and vegetables they could add to their list

A final note

Fussy eating is frustrating, and it might seem impossible to overcome. The chances are, in time it will pass.

If it is a prolonged issue, or if you are worried that your child is undernourished, then it is important to check in with a health professional who can offer support and guidance.

Otherwise, hand in there. You have this.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

BBC Bitesize. “Why Involving Your Child in Cooking Can Help in More Ways than You’d Think – BBC Bitesize.” BBC Bitesize, 2 Sept. 2024, www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zfbbqyc#z2hhcxs.

Dux_j98ny47. “The Role of Mealtimes in Promoting Nutrition and the Love of All Things Veggies.” Child Australia, 13 Feb. 2024, childaustralia.org.au/the-role-of-mealtimes-in-promoting-nutrition-and-the-love-of-all-things-veggies/.

Institute, Rachel Ehmke is managing editor at the Child Mind. “More than Picky Eating.” Child Mind Institute, childmind.org/article/more-than-picky-eating/.

Mayhew, Michele. “Why Group Mealtime Matters for Child Development | Milestones.” Milestones, 13 Sept. 2024, milestones.com.au/news/food-fun-friends-why-group-mealtime-matters-for-child-development/.

OTHolly. “OT Picky Eaters – Toddler Development.” Toddler Development, 12 May 2023, otholly.com/ot-picky-eaters/. Accessed 23 Sept. 2025.

DISCLAIMER- This site contains affiliate links, and the author may profit if you make a purchase using a link.

The benefits of meditation for children are as numerous and profound as they are for adults.

Meditation is not an activity we would usually think of for a child. Children are rarely naturally still. It is true that they benefit from exercise and physical activity, especially when done outside. However, meditation can also be a great tool in supporting positive mental health and combating anxiety.

What age can children meditate?

Children can meditate from as young as three or four years of age. In fact, as soon as a child can sit still for a few minutes, you can begin to introduce them to meditation.

For younger children, they may prefer short meditations. A child’s ability to focus increases with age. Therefore, older children will be able to focus for a little longer.

Are meditation and mindfulness the same thing?

Although you can not use the words meditation and mindfulness interchangeably, they are closely connected.

Meditation is a practice that focuses on calming the mind, either by taking a mental rest or focusing on a particular thought that you believe will bring you benefit.

Mindfulness is cultivating awareness of our bodies, minds and emotions.

You can use mindfulness as a tool for meditation, and meditation helps to increase our mindfulness. Therefore, when we talk about the benefits of meditation for children, we will also be looking at the benefits of mindfulness. Children who meditate will, over time, become more mindful.

What does meditation do to your child’s brain?

Meditation can actually change the structure of the brain. The journal, Psychiatry Research, published a study where researchers asked participants to practise Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for 8 weeks. By the end of the study, they found that the hippocampus had grown. The hippocampus is the part of the brain in charge of memory and emotional regulation.

They also found that the amygdala, which is connected with stress and anxiety, was smaller after repeated mindfulness practice.

What are the benefits of meditation for children?

Meditation has many benefits for children. Let’s explore them

Reduced anxiety

Meditation and mindfulness can help children cope with anxiety. If your child meditates regularly, they may feel less anxious overall.

Better emotional control

By bringing children into the present moment, meditation can help your child to slow down and be aware of their emotions. In a more reflective state, your child will be in a stronger position to make good choices.

Improved Sleep

There is evidence that regular meditation may improve sleep quality. Furthermore, sleep meditations are a great way to get children to settle at night. Here is a list of some fantastic sleep meditations to get you started.

More focus

Mindfulness can help your child develop the ability to focus on a task and give their full attention. There are three major neurological networks for focus and attention. Different studies have shown that meditation can impact different networks depending on the practice.

Higher academic achievement

Children who meditate regularly have been shown to perform better at school and achieve better grades. This may be due to lowered levels of stress and improved focus.

Boost in social skills

Loving-kindness meditation is a type of meditation that can help boost positive feelings, compassion and empathy for other people.

Although studies looking at the effects of other kinds of meditation on prosocial behaviour have yielded mixed results. However, meditation does support impulse control and self-awareness. These are both skills which can help your child to flourish socially.

Increased immunity

So far, many of the benefits of meditation for children that we have discussed have focused on the mental benefits. However, meditation can help your child physically, too. Studies have shown a link between meditation and a stronger immune system.

Greater confidence

By helping your child ground themselves and become more self-aware, meditation can have a positive impact on their confidence levels.

More creativity

As we have already discussed, meditation can support emotional regulation and reduce anxiety. A positive side effect of this is that it offers the mind more creative freedom. Also, the improvement in cognitive function that meditation provides can enable the mind to make more connections, and think out of the box.

How to get your child meditating

A lot of adults struggle to meditate. Our minds aren’t used to staying still. It often doesn’t feel natural. It is not any easier for children. Despite the many benefits of meditation, children are likely to struggle to begin with.

The great news is that meditation is something that is adaptable. There are many ways that you can include meditation into your child’s day.

Start small

Asking your four-year-old to sit and chant mantras for an hour may be ambitious. Young children have limited attention spans and often find being still difficult.

Therefore, it is important to start small and manageable. Make it short and interactive. If you manage to make it fun, there are bonus points.

Teach them breathing techniques

The great thing about breathing techniques is they can be done anywhere. They are a great way for your child to calm down if they are having big feelings.

Here are some breathing techniques you can try today.

Try a guided meditation video on YouTube

YouTube has a plethora of meditation videos that are specifically designed for children. They are often short and easy for children to follow.

Talk them through a body scan

Body scans are a great way to help your child be more self-aware and in the moment. Start with the feet and ask them to focus on each part of the body in turn.

This can be adapted at bedtime. If your child tightens and then relaxes each part of their body in turn, it can help them to settle down ready for sleep.

Invest in some meditation cards

Meditation cards are a great tool to help your child fall in love with meditation. Each card has a different mindfulness or meditation activity to try. They are fun, and having the option to choose their card for the day, can help your child to feel proactively engaged in the process

Add a sleep meditation to bedtime

Sleep meditations can help your child shut off their busy brains and fall into a deep sleep.

There are different types of sleep meditation, such as music or stories. So, try a few and find which one your child loves.

Make it part of your daily routine

When you add meditation to your daily routine, it will be easier to remember to do it regularly. When you fit it in depends on what works for your family. For example, first thing when you wake up, before you walk out for school, or before bed are all great options.

A final note

Meditation has a lot of benefits for children, and also for you. Therefore, as you encourage them to meditate, use the time to look after yourself also.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

“Benefits of Meditation for Kids.” NEW HORIZON, 2018, www.newhorizonholisticcentre.co.uk/blog/benefits-of-meditation-for-kids. Accessed 16 Sept. 2025.

Bennett, Doug. “Meditation Brings Robust Immune System Activation, UF Health Researchers Find.” UF Health, University of Florida Health, 14 Dec. 2021, ufhealth.org/news/2021/meditation-brings-robust-immune-system-activation-uf-health-researchers-find.

Ding, Xiaoqian, et al. “Improving Creativity Performance by Short-Term Meditation.” Behavioral and Brain Functions, vol. 10, no. 1, 2014, p. 9, https://doi.org/10.1186/1744-9081-10-9.

Feruglio, Susanna, et al. “The Impact of Mindfulness Meditation on Social and Moral Behavior: Does Mindfulness Enhance Other-Oriented Motivation or Decrease Monetary Reward Salience?” Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience, vol. 16, 2 Sept. 2022, https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2022.963422.

Garey, Juliann. “The Power of Mindfulness.” Child Mind Institute, Child Mind Institute, 2 Feb. 2016, childmind.org/article/the-power-of-mindfulness/.

Gomes, Alexandra, et al. “Meditation Effects on Anxiety and Resilience of Preadolescents and Adolescents: A Randomized Controlled Study.” Children, vol. 8, no. 8, 11 Aug. 2021, p. 689, https://doi.org/10.3390/children8080689.

Moore, Lela. “How Meditation Changes the Brain.” Psych Central, 3 June 2021, psychcentral.com/blog/how-meditation-changes-the-brain.

Norris, Catherine J., et al. “Brief Mindfulness Meditation Improves Attention in Novices: Evidence from ERPs and Moderation by Neuroticism.” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, vol. 12, no. 315, 6 Aug. 2018, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6088366/, https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00315.

Priya. “The Impact of Meditation on Academic Performance and Cognitive Abilities.” IJFMR240215225, vol. 6, no. 2, 2024, www.ijfmr.com/papers/2024/2/15225.pdf.

Ross, Michele. “Nope, Mindfulness and Meditation Aren’t the Same Thing. We Asked Experts to Break down the Difference.” @Onepeloton, Peloton Interactive, 28 Feb. 2024, onepeloton.com/blog/mindfulness-vs-meditation. Accessed 15 Sept. 2025.

Rouse, Matthew, and Alnardo Martinez. “How Can We Help Kids with Self-Regulation?” Child Mind Institute, 2016, childmind.org/article/can-help-kids-self-regulation/.

Rusch, Heather L., et al. “The Effect of Mindfulness Meditation on Sleep Quality: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials.” Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, vol. 1445, no. 1, 21 Dec. 2018, pp. 5–16, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6557693/, https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.13996.

“Sleep Meditation for Kids: Promoting Peaceful Nights and Restful Sleep.” Huckleberry, huckleberrycare.com/blog/sleep-meditation-for-kids-promoting-peaceful-nights-and-restful-sleep.

Weare, Katherine. Evidence for the Impact of Mindfulness on Children and Young People Mood Disorders Centre. 2013.

The power of fun is not something that you hear much about much in the world of parenting. It is often seen as superfluous; A little treat for when the real parenting is done. In truth, it is so much more.

Fun and games, laughter and smiles; these are the things that can fill childhood with sunshine. They are also powerful tools to support your child.

Why Fun is Powerful

Children have a lot to learn. In the same way, parents have a lot to teach. The use of fun in your parenting journey has the power to help your children learn faster and more efficiently.

When your child is having fun, their body releases ‘feel-good’ hormones. Hormones such as endorphins and dopamine are released in higher quantities when your child is happy. These happy hormones can impact more than your child’s mood. These also help improve memory, focus, and sleep.

Furthermore, your children naturally engage with the world through play. Working with your child and bringing play into more areas of your life can help them feel engaged and boost their confidence.

Games over battles

Battles of wills are often commonplace with children. This is especially true if your child has a strong will.  It is often possible, however, to redirect the energy with a game. Games are fun and have the power to change the mood; therefore, they make parenting less fraught.

For example:

Your child keep leaving toys out.  Hide them, and tell your child they get them back when they find them. To begin with, they might leave a few out for the fun of playing ‘hunt the toy,’ but in time, they will learn to put things away.

 Your child refuses to brush their teeth and get changed for school.  Rather than asking for the zillionth time, challenge them to a race.  Can they get changed and brush their teeth before you finish the breakfast dishes? You will be surprised how fast they move when they are racing you.

Bedtime battles can be hard. Play sleeping lions. Your children pretend to be asleep and you have to see if you can catch the sleeping lions moving. The longer they go without getting caught, the better they do. Just remember to tell them in the morning how well they did so that you can use the game again.

Ways to use fun as a powerful parenting tool

If fun is a powerful parenting tool, how do we bring more of it to our childrens days?

Race against time

Children love games, especially races. By setting up a race, you can encourage your child to engage in tasks that they may not be fond of.

We use races a lot. Children don’t want to leave a playdate. If I tell them I can put my coat on faster than they can collect their toys and put on their shoes, they will go all out to prove me wrong.

When they don’t want to tidy their rooms, I say I don’t believe they can do it in less than 20 minutes. They always manage.

Then of course, there are the actual running races when we are late leaving to school and I need to get them moving.

A race challenge can completely change the tone of a moment. Plus, when you are racing against your child, it can get you moving too.

Add Music

Music has the power to change moods; it is fun, and many of us don’t use it enough in parenting.

You can add music to most moments, with positive effects, but I love using it in the mornings. When we are feeling a bit groggy and are getting ready for school. Music can wake us up and give us a boost.

Maybe try combining music with race challenges, and see if your children can change or shower before a song finishes.

Exploring different songs and artists is also a great way to bond as a family. If you have a music app, spend time with your children creating playlists for different purposes. The songs you listen to when you’re driving may be different from the ones you listen to at the dinner table.

As well as pumping up or calming the mood, music can boost cognitive skills and support memory making.

If you need a starting point, here is a play list of some kid friendly songs.

Make traditions

Traditions are a great way to connect as a family, and also help children feel grounded and included. They can also help form a shared identity, as you create something that is particular to just your family.

They may be annual, such as a trip to a particular market every Christmas, or a movie night on the last day of the school year. Or they could be weekly. A family breakfast every Saturday, or board games on Friday.

The great thing about traditions is that you can personalise them to your family, and adapt them as your children grow and develop.

It can be fun to add little touches. For example, my family has a milk jug which comes out every Sunday morning, and we put candles on the table.

Get creative and find what is fun for your family.

Create challenges

Challenges are a positive way to encourage your child in anything they may be struggling with. When you create a challenge, you are shining a spotlight on your child’s progress. This can offer a huge boost to their self-esteem.

Whatever your child is working on, there will be a challenge you can create to match it. If reading is becoming a chore, set your child a challenge to read 100 pages in a week. If fussy eating is becoming a problem, see how many new foods your child can try in a week.

When you are creating challenges, it is better to focus on things they should do rather than not do. Keep the challenges manageable and trackable. Challenges like ‘be nicer to your siblings’ may be tempting. However, it is important to have a measure of success so you and your child can gauge how they are doing. Rather, something like ‘Say one nice thing to your sibling a day,’ is something you can track.

When it comes to prizes, don’t go too big. Little tokens, such as staying up an hour later, or getting to choose a dinner and pudding for the weekend, are enough.

A final note

There will be enough hard moments and battles to go around. Claim any fun you can. It is powerful, boosts your children’s development, and makes great memories.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

Cloke, Harry. “Why Fun in Learning Works Better than Dull Learning.” Growth Engineering, 2024, www.growthengineering.co.uk/fun-in-learning/.

“Happy Children, Better Outcomes.” Www.schoolsearch.co.uk, www.schoolsearch.co.uk/news/happy-children-better-outcomes.

Jäncke, Lutz. “Music, Memory and Emotion.” Journal of Biology, vol. 7, no. 6, 8 Aug. 2008, p. 21, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2776393/, https://doi.org/10.1186/jbiol82.

Raypole, Crystal. “How to Hack Your Hormones for a Better Mood.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 30 Sept. 2019, www.healthline.com/health/happy-hormone#exercise.

Sutton, Amber. “Harnessing the Power of Endorphins, Serotonin, Dopamine through Relax Kids 7 Steps. – Relax Kids – Official Website.” Relax Kids – Official Website, 23 Apr. 2024, relaxkids.com/latest-news/harnessing-the-power-of-endorphins-serotonin-dopamine-through-relax-kids-7-steps/. Accessed 9 Sept. 2025.

Sutton, Jon. ““Happy Children Are Better Learners.”” BPS, The British Psychological Society, 23 Aug. 2024, www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/happy-children-are-better-learners.

Whiteman, Honor. “Laughter Releases “Feel Good Hormones” to Promote Social Bonding.” Www.medicalnewstoday.com, 3 June 2017, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317756.

Yogman, Michael. “The Power of Play – How Fun and Games Help Children Thrive.” HealthyChildren.org, American Academy of Pediatrics, 13 June 2022, www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/power-of-play/Pages/the-power-of-play-how-fun-and-games-help-children-thrive.aspx.

How to survive the summer holidays is more of a question asked by parents, than by children. For most of our little ones, multiple weeks off school is bliss.

As adults, it can be stressful and chaotic. Of course, you probably love spending time with your little one. In many homes, however, all the grown-ups are working, making childcare difficult. Keeping a house clean with children playing full-time can feel impossible. Some families also find that the lack of structure can make it difficult for children to regulate their emotions. This can mean that they end up making poor choices.

So, if you feel like you survive the summer holidays, rather than relishing them, you are probably not alone. The good news is that there are things that you can do to make these weeks a positive experience all around.

How to survive the summer holidays?

Every family is different. Each family will want something different from the summer holidays. All of these suggestions, therefore, may not work for every household. Pick and choose what ones work for you.

Choose your own adventure

It is wise to be purposeful before the summer break about what you most want from the time off. Are your children tired out and in need of a few weeks’ rest? Has life been a bit samey, and you want to break out and have some adventures?

Perhaps you feel that family time has been too short, and you would like some quality time with the children. Or maybe you have been together a lot, and would like to add some other people into the mix, and plan some social things.

When you know what you want from the holidays, you can take steps to make them work for you.

Teach new skills

The summer is a great time for children to learn a few extra life skills. Often, your chores can be exciting for them as they play at being grown-ups. Let them help in the garden, have a go using the washing machine, or try cooking a meal.

Life skills can empower children and give them a sense of autonomy and independence. This is great for their mental health.

Make a snack shop

Children seem to grow a lot over the summer. This often means that they eat a lot throughout the summer, too. You may feel like every 5 minutes, they are asking for a snack or something to drink.

Rather than constantly trying to ration the snacks, create a snack shop. Give your child some monopoly or fake money each day that they can use to buy snacks. You can print a price list, pricing the more sugary snacks higher, and the healthy ones a little lower. Once the money has gone, they can wait for main meals. In the first few days, they may spend their money quickly, but over time, they will learn to plan and spread out their snacks throughout the day.

Keep a routine

Routines are nobody’s idea of excitement. However, if you want to do more than survive the holidays with your children and have fun, your children need to be happy and healthy.

Routines are beneficial for both children’s mental health and physical health. They help regulate digestion and sleep, as well as keeping your child grounded and giving them a bit of predictability.

You don’t have to structure the whole day. Rather, create pockets of routine for mornings and evenings.

Create a reward system

Children love challenges, and rewarding good behaviour is more effective at encouraging the right choices over the threat of punishment.

An easy way to do this is to set up a reward system where the children earn tokens, credits or stickers for making great choices.

It doesn’t have to be complicated; stickers or smiley faces on a sheet of paper can work. Decide what time frame you are setting. You could do it daily, for the reward of sitting up 20 minutes extra colouring, or as one long challenge that runs the whole holiday. Perhaps if they earn 100 credits, they get a treat day out, or a meal at their favourite restaurant?

Keep it fun and simple. Maybe set challenges for extra credits, such as plan and make a meal, or write a letter to a favourite author. This can help them to stay occupied, too.

Proactively plan for journeys

Audiobooks are a fantastic way to help journeys go faster, and can be a great way to expose your children to more vocabulary and some great stories.

There are a lot of free audiobooks on YouTube. LibriVox is also a fantastic app, with a huge collection of books that are in the public domain.

If you have a long car journey, pack snacks, fidget toys and a pillow so your children can make their own little nook in the back seat.

I-spy books can be a good investment for car journeys, as it encourages your child to look at what is around them, and makes the journey into a game.

Get outside

Fresh air and excercise are incredibly important for childrens mental health. Going outside early in the morning and being exposed to natural light can also help children to regulate their circadian ryhthms and promotes good sleep at night.

Maybe make it a routine that every morning you either go for a walk around the block or play a game of football in the garden.

If you are going for daily walks, it can be a great idea to take litter pickers and bin bags and help clean your local area.

Share Child care

With the best will in the world, 6 weeks of balancing work, house duties and parenting can be a lot. If you have friends with similar ages children consider sharing child care so both parents get a little child-free time to catch up on life, or drink coffee and rewire.

For the children, it will be a bonus play date, and for the parents, it can make a big difference. Often the parent hosting wins too, as another child in the house can mean fewer sibling fights and more happy playing.

Give the children ‘jobs’ if you have one too

Working full-time when your children are at home during the holidays can be difficult. If you are working from home, could your children become your coworkers for a few weeks? Set different tasks, and pay them in tokens. They can then use the tokens to buy extra screen time or snacks.

Tasks could be sitting down ones that they can do sat near you, such as copying a picture from a favourite book or making their own comic. They could also be active, such as tidying their rooms, or helping sort socks.

This, of course, may not be sustainable for every work-from-home day, but if you set it up for a few days, it can make some fun memories.

Try a scavenger hunt

If you want to get out and about but your children aren’t feeling the walking, a scavenger hunt can help keep them happy and motivated. If you are walking in nature, you could ask them to look for something with every colour of the rainbow, or see how many different birds, plants or insects they can spot. Children love toys, so if you have an old camera they can use to take photos of their finds, you will be onto a winner.

For days in cities, you can often buy city scavenger hunts. They will take the children on a specific route through the city, and they have to find information or look for clues to answer the questions. It can be a great way to explore a new place.

Check out the community

Many places host special events over the summer, some for free. There are also a lot of restaurants that will offer free or heavily discounted kids’ meals over the holidays.

Look online for what is on in your area, and get some fun things in the diary. You could invite your kids friends along for a play date, without the need to host

Allow down time

It may be tempting to fill every minute of every day with plans and play dates. Remember, however, to allow a little time for children to get bored. Being bored is actually great for your child’s development. Through it they develop tolerance, creativity and organisational skills.

If your child mopes because of boredom, let them. In time they will pick themselves up and find something to do.

For children who are really struggling, a boredom jar with activity ideas written on slips of paper can help; however, letting your child work it out for themselves is more beneficial.

A final note

It is okay if you find the summer holidays difficult. As well as a change of routine for your children, it is a shake-up for you, with more responsibilities resting in your already full hands.

Most summer holidays include a little bit of crazy, and that is okay. Try to find peace and joy amidst the madness. Be kind to yourself. Keep smiling.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

If you are wondering how to help your child cope with change, you are not alone. When adults face a shake-up of their circumstances, we often struggle. For children, it can be even harder.

Why do children find change difficult?

Before we examine how to help children cope with change, it is worth exploring why children find change so difficult.

Children, like adults, like stability. They thrive on routines and predictability. The things that they know offer a sense of safety and familiarity.

When adults face change, we do so with a greater level of understanding. We know what will be the same and what may be different. There will often be a certain amount of choice and control that we have in the new circumstances.

This is rarely the case for children. They have a limited understanding of the world and the way things work, so they will find it hard to predict what their new circumstances may look like.

Children often have little agency or options to choose. Rather, we carry them to new schools or homes.

Also, emotional development is still in progress. This means that the big feelings that come with saying goodbye to people or places that they love can be harder to process.

What does it look like when a child is struggling with change?

Children who are struggling to cope with change may be overemotional. They might also struggle to sleep or have differences in their appetite. There could also be other symptoms associated with anxiety, such as sickness, headaches or constipation.

Many children will not fully understand what they are feeling, or be able to acknowledge that they are finding the transition difficult. Often, they understand the attitude that we want to see from them. They can mimic that attitude, saying things such as,’ The new school will be exciting,” or ‘I know that I will make new friends’.

This might mean that when you talk to them, rather than talking about the difficulty of the change, they will throw all their big feeling into unrelated situations. The fact that they got the red cup rather than the blue suddenly becomes a huge issue. For this reason, it is important to keep an eye out for changes in behaviour.

How to help you child cope with change

Unfortunately, you cannot make change painless for your child. However much we want to help, adapting and coping with change and transition is something your child has to learn through experience. There are things that you can do, however, to support your child through this process.

Give them something that they can control.

Although you can not give them full control of most situations, offering them a little bit of control can help them feel involved and connected to what is going on.

If they are changing schools, this might mean letting them choose what packed lunches they would like, or choose a new backpack.

If they are moving home, perhaps give them a corner of the new space that they can choose an ornament for or help decorate.

Make the unfamiliar familiar.

A lot of the difficulty that children face will be the fear of the unknown. This is understandable. If you were to start a new job, you would likely be nervous and unsure of what to expect. The difference is that as an adult, you will have a frame of reference and enough experience to be able to predict some of the variables. Although every workplace has a different culture, you likely understand enough of the overriding social rules to know how to behave and how to navigate your first few days.

Children, especially young children, have a lot less life experience. Therefore, the unfamiliar can be more daunting, as they are much less idea what to expect. They may feel unsure of what will be asked of them or how they are meant to behave.

Therefore, anything you can do to help them understand their new enviroment can help. Pin up photos of new houses, or new classrooms. Let them help you research on the internet to find out extra information about what they will face. As you shed a little light on what is to come, it can help ease their anxieties.

Maintain usual routines

Routines may seem drab and boring, but they can provide a sense of comfort and stability to children. When children have pockets of routine in their day, they are more in control of their days, even if the routines are set for them.

As well as being comforting, routines can help children to regulate themselves physically. Often eating and sleeping can be difficult when children are anxious. A solid routine can support digestion and rest.

Make time for fun

A little distraction during stressful times can go a long way towards helping children relax. It is not uncommon for children to overthink changes, and work themselves into an anxious state worrying about what might happen.

Make time for fun activities, which will take their minds off their worries.

If possible choose activities that are physical. As your child moves their body, the chemicals in the brain can change. Physical movement boosts the production of hormones like serotonin which can help your child feel calmer.

Talk about what is happening

Although distraction can be a great tool, offering your child the chance to talk about what they are struggling with can also help.

Many times, they will have specific worries that you will be able to talk through and support them with. It may not be obvious to even your child what they are worrying about initially. Often, if you sit children down to have an intentional chat, they will struggle to open up. Instead, bring up the change occasionally as you cook together or walk to school.

Make sure that they have room to talk about it if they need to. By talking through different aspects of what is coming, they will be able to work out for themselves what they are most nervous about. Then, you and your child can face that fear together.

Try guided meditation

You can find many guided meditations online for children. Guided meditations are a great way to calm down your child’s busy mind and help them to self-regulate.

Studies have shown that meditation has a significant impact in promoting good mental health in children. For children who struggle to sit still, yoga can be a great active alternative.

Final note

Change is hard for grown-ups and children alike. Coping with change will not be easy for your child. As they do, however, they will learn to adapt.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

Works Cited

“How Can I Help My Child Cope with Change?” Support for Parents from Action for Children, parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/feelings-behaviour/talking-about-feelings/help-child-cope-with-change/.

Ratey, John J. “Can Exercise Help Treat Anxiety?” Harvard Health Blog, Harvard Health Publishing, 24 Oct. 2019, www.health.harvard.edu/blog/can-exercise-help-treat-anxiety-2019102418096.

Walton, Alice G. “Science Shows Meditation Benefits Children’s Brains and Behavior.” Forbes, www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2016/10/18/the-many-benefits-of-meditation-for-children/.

Young Minds. “Transitions, Change & Mental Health | Parents Guide.” YoungMinds, 2021, www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/transitions-and-times-of-change/.

The importance of play for your toddler may not be highlighted when we talk about their fundamental needs. Food, love, and shelter are things that our children need to survive. However, you probably want more than survival for your children. You likely want them to thrive. Play can be an important part of helping them learn and develop.

Why is play important for toddlers?

Children enter a world that is big and mysterious to them. Play is the way that they explore their surroundings and learn how to interact with others. It also helps them to learn about themselves, their capabilities, limitations and potential.

From when they are babies, our children are learning through play. In everything they do, they are developing skills and understanding. For example, one of the first toys that most babies are given is usually a rattle. A rattle is rarely classified as an educational toy, yet it teaches plenty. The baby shakes it, and it makes a noise. Through repetition, they will slowly begin to form the concept of cause and effect. The shaking of the toy leads to a noise, and when they stop, the noise stops too.

Many babies will go through a stage where they pick up an object, and then will drop it, or even throw it. Although at the time, it may feel like they are treating you like a pet dog, and trying to get you to fetch, the dropping and throwing stage is how they learn about gravity. It is also how they learn about holding on and about letting go. Also, how many times their adult will bring the same teddy back before they give up and shove it in a bag.

This exploration through play continues when they reach toddlerhood. As soon as they become mobile, their ability to explore, create and discover quickly increases.

Ways to play with your toddler

There are a lot of toys out there which are designed for toddlers. In fact, you could easily spend your annual wage on children’s toys. Toddlers do not need lots of fancy toys for play, though. There are many things that they can do for free, which are just as educational and fun.

Peek-a-boo

Peek-a-boo is a classic baby game that toddlers can enjoy too. Again, whilst to us as adults it may seem to be just a little bit of silliness, to children it can teach them about object permanence. Object permanence is the understanding that things still exist when they are no longer seen. It can also help children with gross motor skills and the ability to track objects visually.

Messy and sensory play

Toddlers can be rather messy, even before you get into messy or sensory play. However, messy and sensory play is great. It allows them to explore the world with all of their senses. They experience the feel of sand on their fingers, the sounds that a fabric makes when it crumples, and even the smells will intrigue them. Unfortunately, they will often try and explore through taste too, which can be frustrating as you try to stop them putting paint or dirty toys in their mouth.

As well as learning about different textures, sights, smells, tastes and visual sensations, sensory play can be a fantastic way to develop your child’s creativity.

You don’t need to spend a fortune on sensory play kits. Old pans and spoons are all you need for a mud kitchen. Play-dough is cheap to make at home from an online recipe. You can also make sensory shakers from old water bottles.

Role-play

Toddlers love to dress up. When they don their costumes, as firefighters, princesses or dinosaurs, they often will begin to engage in role play.

Role play is a wonderful way to encourage your child’s creativity. It can also be beneficial in developing their empathy as they play around with different roles and therefore perspectives. Often, role play involves the children creating and then acting out various scenarios. This can encourage children to use their problem-solving and cognitive skills.

As your child grows and passes from toddlerhood, they will begin playing socially with other children around them. Role-playing games are popular choices for these first co-play experiences. Through them, children learn to communicate and combine ideas.

Buying new fancy dress costumes can be expensive, but fortunately, there is usually a great selection in charity shops or second-hand selling sites.

Pegs and pans

A bag of clothes pegs and an old saucepan used to be my mum’s go-to activity for toddlers when she no longer had toys about. If you show a toddler how to clip a peg to the rim of the pan, it can keep them occupied for a fair amount of time. It is also a fantastic way to practise their fine motor skills. Just be warned, when you play this game might later find pegs attached to your jacket, shoes and furniture.

Obstacle races

Obstacle races can be a lot of fun and are easy to set up nearly anywhere. Get your child to crawl under chairs, hop from one square on the floor to another, climb over a box, or whatever other challenges you can create with the things around you. As well as helping your child’s physical development, this also supports cognitive development, as they try to remember what step is next.

Problem solving games

The art of problem solving is one that is acquired through practice. Therefore, offering your child problem-solving play can be really beneficial.

Problem-solving games include things like shape sorting, jigsaws, and mazes. Through them, children are not just developing their cognitive skills, but also developing perseverance

Scavenger hunts

Scavenger hunts are a lot of fun when you are walking with your toddler in the woods or playing in the garden; however, you can also do them just as well inside.

As well as being lots of fun, you can use scavenger hunts to help your toddler understand and classify the world around them. Give them list items that make them think, such as listing colours (something blue), sizes (something bigger than the basket), or other classifications (something that you wear, or something edible).

Parallel play

Toddlers are unlikely to play together, as they do not yet have the social skills to coordinate joint games. At most, they may hand each other toys or snatch each other’s toys. They do enjoy parallel play, however. Parallel play is where they play independently, next to each other. This can be beneficial as they observe each other and learn from how the other plays. Listening to the other child’s narrative or communication with their parent can expose them to a different range of vocabulary than they may usually hear.

As they play next to each other they will begin to learn social cues and understand the rules that govern social interaction, such as don’t hit or grab other children’s things.

A final note

The importance of play for your toddler can not be understated. By playing with your little one, you will be able to help them learn and develop, whilst bonding and having fun.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

BBC. “Why It’s Good for Children to Take Risks and Challenge Themselves through Play.” BBC Tiny Happy People, 2024, www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/znpwkty.

Care Learning. “Positive Risk Taking in Health and Social Care – Care Learning.” Carelearning.org.uk, 20 May 2024, carelearning.org.uk/blog/person-centred-care/positive-risk-taking-in-health-and-social-care/.

Hanscom, Angela. “Risk-Taking and Child Behaviour | Over-Protection and Child Development | Community Playthings.” Www.communityplaythings.co.uk, Apr. 2017, www.communityplaythings.co.uk/learning-library/articles/remove-the-bubble-wrap.

Hawkins, Beth. “The Importance of Role Play in the Early Years | Eyworks.” Eyworks, 10 May 2024, www.eyworks.co.uk/blog/the-importance-of-role-play-in-the-early-years/.

Messy Play. 2019, cambspborochildrenshealth.nhs.uk/child-development-and-growing-up/hand-skills/messy-play/.

“The Power of Parallel Play for Young Children | NCHS.” Blog.nchs.org, blog.nchs.org/discover-parallel-play-for-children.

to, What. “Play Peekaboo | What to Expect.” Whattoexpect, 27 Jan. 2019, www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/peek-a-boo/.

WJEC. “The Importance of Being Able to Take Risks with Considerations of the Well-Being of Children.” Amazonaws.com, 2019, resource.download.wjec.co.uk.s3.amazonaws.com/vtc/2018-19/HSC18-19_3-1/_multi-lang/unit05/01-risk-taking.html.

The benefits of risk-taking for children can be lost. Instead, you may feel the very real necessity to keep your children safe.

Keeping your child safe and well is, of course, your number one priority. We all have the ominous “what if” hanging over our heads.

With the rise of social media, you may feel even more scared. Your home page may be full of horror stories and worst case scenarios.

So, why talk about the benefits of risk-taking for children?

Taking risks does not mean acting dangerously

Before we go any further, let us clarify. Risk-taking is not the same as dangerous behaviour. Of course, dangerous behaviour is an extreme form of risk-taking. However, your child can take risks without engaging in dangerous behaviour.

The difference is the potential for harm. You do not want to teach your children to run blindly into a road, jump into a rough sea or anything that might cause them actual harm. Our children are precious, vulnerable and worth keeping safe. There are a lot of situations that you do not want them to put themselves in.

Navigating risks safely

One way that you can embrace the benefits of risk-taking for your children, without exposing them to danger, is by teaching them to navigate the risks safely.

By doing this, you do not remove the danger, but you teach them to be aware of it and how to manage their own safety.

An example of this could be climbing trees. Climbing trees carries a certain amount of risk, which we are all aware of. Rather than stopping them from climbing trees, or worse still, letting them climb and hoping for the best, teach them to climb safely. You can talk to them about how to understand their limits, and know how high is too high. Encourage them to test every branch before they step on it, and work slowly and carefully.

As children get older, the situations that they have to navigate can be more dangerous. They begin to have more independence, so are often navigating these situations without our supervision. As you allow them to take big steps, like walking to school on their own, or taking the bus on their own for the first time, ensure that they know the risks they may come across and how to manage them.

Emotional risks

Sometimes the risks that our children will face won’t be physical ones; Rather they will be emotional. The same as for adults, trying something new can be daunting for a child. They may be afraid of making a fool of themselves or failing.

As children are born with the innate need to fit in, the fear of being excluded or humiliated can feel just as real as the fear of physical harm.

Overcoming emotional risks and being brave enough to expose themselves to failure can help your child develop resilience. When they step out of their comfort zone, they become more willing to try new things.

The benefits of risk-taking for children

Risk-taking is a natural part of a child’s development. By recognising, exploring and then overcoming their fears, they learn about themselves and the world that they live in.

The mental benefits

If a child does not have the opportunity to confront some of their fears in a natural way, the fears can intensify. In the long run this can lead to children who are anxious, or even have phobias.

When a child is allowed to navigate risk safely, they learn to see their fear in perspective. They also learn the steps needed to stay safe around the risk, which can be empowering and give them a sense of control. Once they have managed to persevere and accomplish a risky task, a child will feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment.

Also, by being allowed to manage a certain amount of risk, children get to practise their cognitive reasoning skills and experience problem-solving.

The physical benefits

A lot of things that you may classify as risky play can be an important part of your child’s physical development. Through activities such as climbing, bike-riding, skating, spinning, rolling and general rough play, your child can become more physically aware. They learn what their body is capable of and how to keep themselves safe. Children who are allowed to engage in risky play will learn to recognise their own limits.

The social benefits

Children who have engaged in risky play and navigated challenging situations will be more confident with higher self-esteem. This can help them socially.

Risk-taking sometimes involves taking social risks as well as physical ones. It may be as simple as talking to someone new on the playground, or acting in a play in front of their friends. By overcoming their fears and stepping outside their comfort zones children will have opportunities to test and develop a plethora of skills, social and other.

How to encourage your children to take risks

Now that we have looked at the benefits of risk-taking for children, let’s look at how to encourage them to step out of their comfort zones. Also, how to encourage risk-taking, whilst prioritising their safety.

Retain boundaries

As well as encouraging our children to take risks, we want to make sure that they know what risks are safe to take. When you are talking to your children about risky play or trying new activities make sure that you set clear boundaries. For example, if you are allowing your children to use sharp knives when they help you cook, a reasonable rule would be that they are not allowed to touch the knives unless there is an adult standing by them

Talk through a risk assesment with them before

As well as boundaries, ensure they are aware of the risks and how to avoid them. With sharp knives they must learn how to turn the blade away from the finger. If they are walking to school on their own for the first time they need to know not to be careful crossing the road. Whatever the activity, talk through a little risk assessment before to ensure they are aware of what could go wrong and how to avoid it.

Be aware of developmental readiness

Although at times taking calculated risks can be beneficial for your child, it is important to ensure that your child is ready for the situation that they are walking into.

It is healthy, and beneficial for children to be allowed to fail. However, encourage them to engage in situations where, with time and hard work they have the potential to succeed.

If your child is still working on their general motor skills, asking them to climb a high tree would not only be demoralising, but also dangerous. Instead start with something small like a trim trail or climbing frame to enable them to work on the skills that they need.

By staying aware of what level your child is at, you can encourage them to engage in risky play that is tricky, but not impossible for them.

Model bravery

Your children learn a lot from watching you. By modelling calculated risk-taking, you can encourage your children to do the same.

What is it that you fear? If you are afraid of heights, be honest about it. Show your child how you step out of your comfort zone, and expose yourself to heights, without dangerous behaviour. As our children see us weighing up, managing, and facing risk, they will learn to do the same.

A final note

Risk-taking offers benefits to your child, socially, physically and mentally.

Of course, you love your children, and want to keep them safe. With clear boundaries, guidance and support, however, your child can be taught to face risk and manage it without exposing themselves to danger.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

BBC. “Why It’s Good for Children to Take Risks and Challenge Themselves through Play.” BBC Tiny Happy People, 2024, www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/znpwkty.

Care Learning. “Positive Risk Taking in Health and Social Care – Care Learning.” Carelearning.org.uk, 20 May 2024, carelearning.org.uk/blog/person-centred-care/positive-risk-taking-in-health-and-social-care/.

Hanscom, Angela. “Risk-Taking and Child Behaviour | Over-Protection and Child Development | Community Playthings.” Www.communityplaythings.co.uk, Apr. 2017, www.communityplaythings.co.uk/learning-library/articles/remove-the-bubble-wrap.

WJEC. “The Importance of Being Able to Take Risks with Considerations of the Well-Being of Children.” Amazonaws.com, 2019, resource.download.wjec.co.uk.s3.amazonaws.com/vtc/2018-19/HSC18-19_3-1/_multi-lang/unit05/01-risk-taking.html.

Is developing your child’s self-esteem something that you can do as a parent, or will their self-image manifest on its own, without your influence?

Research suggests that parents do in fact play a big role in the development of a child’s self-esteem. As children are developing an idea of who they are, the way that we see them and react to them becomes an integral component of the image they begin to form of themselves.

What is self-esteem

Let’s start by clarifying what we mean when we talk about self-esteem.

The definition of self-esteem can sometimes vary. At times, it is used to describe the way a person views themself. Others use it as more of a gauge of a person’s confidence and self-worth.

A person who has a positive opinion of themself is said to have high self-esteem. A person with high self-esteem believes that they are of value. They are aware of their strengths and have confidence in their ability.

On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem will likely not believe they have much worth, or potential.

How does a child develop self-esteem?

Self-esteem begins to shape from day one. Even as a baby, your child is beginning to form a concept of themselves in relation to other people and the world around them. If a baby feels safe in the connection to their caregiver, loved and valued, they are likely to have a strong foundation upon which to build a positive view of themselves.

As a child ages, they will begin to test their abilities and explore their surroundings. As they learn and explore, they will begin to form a view of the world around them and their place within it. They will face challenges and develop skills. They will also form bonds with people. These bonds, and the way people react to them, will impact how they learn to see themselves.

Through the different moments that you share with your child, you will be playing a part in developing your child’s self-esteem.

The benefits of high self-esteem

High self-esteem is important for mental health.

Low self-esteem can lead to stress, anxiety and depression. This is not surprising. A child who does not believe in their worth is more likely to feel unsure of their place in the world, leading to insecurities and confusion. Facing challenges without believing in their abilities can be daunting for a child. Whereas a child with a strong belief in their problem-solving and coping techniques will feel confident.

A healthy self-esteem also means that a child will have respect for themselves. This can mean that they are comfortable setting personal boundaries and advocating for themselves when needed.

Furthermore, a high self-esteem can improve a child’s relationships and is linked to success in a different life pursuits.

Developing your child’s self esteem

Developing your child’s self-esteem is an ongoing process. Day in and day out, the little interactions that you have with your child can shape how they learn to see themselves.

Here are some ways that you can help your child to have a high self-esteem.

Give them your full attention

When you give your child your full attention while they are talking to you, you are showing them that what they say is important to you. This can be hard when you are juggling other tasks. If they start telling you a story, and you are too busy to listen to them at that moment, ask them to hold on. Tell them you want to listen properly, and then do so as soon as you are able.

Allow them to explore their interests

Every child is unique and will have different passions and strengths. By allowing them to explore different interests, they can learn about themselves. In some areas, your child may find they have an aptitude and can pick up new skills easily. Even more special is when they fall in love with a hobby and find the fortitude to work hard at skills that don’t come easily to them.

Practise passive listening

As a parent you may have a lot that you want to teach your child. After all, there are lessons that you have learnt the hard way. You want to impart your hard-earned knowledge to your little one. This can mean that when they talk to you, you feel tempted to jump in with judgement and instructions. At times this will be necessary, but when possible practise passive listening.

Rather than explaining the facts of the situation to your child, ask them to talk you through their thoughts and feelings. Don’t offer them answers, but explore solutions together.

Allow them to fail

This might seem counter proudtive, but failure is important for developing your child’s self-esteem.

The link between failure and high self-esteem is not a direct one. However, a 2017 study showed a link between exposure to failure and resilience.

If a child’s view of themselves relies on always succeeding, they are in a dangerous position. At some point, they will fail.

A child who has been allowed to fail will learn how to cope when things go wrong. As well as exposing your child to failure, teach them how to react to it. Encourage them to assess what went wrong, and if they decide to try again, how they will do things differently.

Also, if they do not fail, they will not develop resilience to failure. It is imortant that children learn that their value will not differ based on their success.

Offer praise about things that they can control

If you offer praise based on things like a child’s prettiness or cleverness, their value will become connected to something that they have no control over.

Rather, praise things such as willingness to work, creativity in choosing outfits and kindness. These are all things that are in a child’s realm of control. This gives them a sense of control over who they decide to be.

Speak kindly about them

As mums and dads, it is natural to want to vent to each other. It is not uncommon for our children to be the subject of our complaints. Sometimes we need to talk to other parents and receive that support. Be careful, however, how you talk about your child when they are in earshot. They listen to us a lot more than we suppose.

Be conscious of what language you use

The way that we phrase things is important. Positive language can help our children form a positive opinion of themselves.

For example, maybe your child wants to walk down the road without holding your hand. They are young and have a tendency to be silly. You know it isn’t a good idea. Don’t say, “No, you are too silly to walk on your own.” Rather say, “You haven’t learnt to be sensible on the road yet. Hold my hand, and when you are older, you can walk on your own.”

At the end of the day, your decision remains the same. However, in the first answer, you labelled them as silly. In the second, you have still said that they lack the skills needed, but used the word “yet.” Your phrasing has implied that they will be ready in time.

Use words that show that you believe in your child and their potential. Don’t view them as a finished product. Sure, maybe they are mardy now, but they have the potential to learn to control their emotions. Maybe they are shy, but in time they will find their bravery and their voice when they need it.

Model positive self-esteem

Children are social learners and will copy a lot of the attitudes that we model for them. Therefore, a great way to teach your child high self-esteem is to act it out yourself.

Use kind language when you talk about yourself. When you make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up. You will have weaknesses. Everyone does. It is okay to acknowledge that you are not the best driver, decorator or artist. Pair that with an acknolweldgement of your strengths also.

A final note

A high self-esteem will be beneficial to your child in a lot of different way. Therefore, intentionally work on developing your child’s self-esteem. Show them who they are, and even more, who they can be.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise

References

Bailey, Joseph A. “The Foundation of Self-Esteem.” Journal of the National Medical Association, vol. 95, no. 5, May 2003, p. 388, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2594522/.

Cherry, Kendra. “What Is Self-Esteem?” Verywell Mind, 5 Dec. 2023, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-esteem-2795868.

Henriksen, Ingvild Oxås, et al. “The Role of Self-Esteem in the Development of Psychiatric Problems: A Three-Year Prospective Study in a Clinical Sample of Adolescents.” Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health, vol. 11, no. 1, Dec. 2017, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5747942/, https://doi.org/10.1186/s13034-017-0207-y.

Johnson, Judith, et al. “Resilience to Emotional Distress in Response to Failure, Error or Mistakes: A Systematic Review.” Clinical Psychology Review, vol. 52, Mar. 2017, pp. 19–42, www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735816302902, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2016.11.007.

Lyness, D’Arcy. “Your Child’s Self-Esteem (for Parents) – KidsHealth.” Kidshealth.org, July 2018, kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html.

NHS. “Raising Low Self-Esteem.” NHS, 11 Apr. 2023, www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/.

Orth, Ulrich, and Richard W. Robins. “Is High Self-Esteem Beneficial? Revisiting a Classic Question.” American Psychologist, vol. 77, no. 1, Jan. 2022, pp. 5–17, https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000922.

“Tips to Build Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence in Your Child (and Yourself) – Center for Children and Youth.” Center for Children and Youth, 11 Dec. 2013, ccy.jfcs.org/tips-to-build-self-esteem-and-self-confidence-in-your-child-and-yourself/.

Vanbuskirk, Sarah. “Why It’s Important to Have High Self-Esteem.” Verywell Mind, 21 Feb. 2023, www.verywellmind.com/why-it-s-important-to-have-high-self-esteem-5094127.

Like many parents, you likely want to help your child stand up against peer pressure. You want them to know what is right and what is wrong. You hope that when they are away from you, even if everyone around them is making a poor choice, they will be smart, safe and kind.

Unfortunately, children, like adults, want to fit in. The need to belong is an innate one, and it is strong. They will be surrounded by other children. Children who like them are trying to work out who they are in a world that feels big and confusing.

What age does peer pressure start?

If you want to help your child stand against peer pressure, it is essential to understand when it begins.

Often, we see peer pressure as an issue that impacts teenagers. In fact, younger children are just as susceptible.

The Picture Book experiment

There was an experiment on four-year-olds. Children were placed into groups of four, and each had a picture book. They sat in booths, able to hear but not see each other. The children were led to believe that each book was identical; however, one in four books was different.

The researchers asked each child to open to the same page, then say what was in the picture. The children with the odd books heard the others answer something different to what they saw. They then had a choice between what the majority believed was true and what they could see with their own eyes. Throughout the experiment, 24 children had an odd book. Eighteen out of the 24 answered incorrectly, siding with the majority.

This means that, at just four years old, the opinions of other people were enough to make them deny the reality that was right in front of them. It is compelling evidence that peer pressure impacts young children, not just teenagers.

Is peer pressure always bad?

Peer pressure is often seen negatively. Positive peer pressure is indeed possible.

Every child will have different strengths and home experiences. Positive peer pressure can help children get out of their comfort zones and be brave enough to try new things. It can normalise differences.

The difference between positive and negative peer pressure will come down to who your child is spending time with. Therefore, it is important to encourage your child to make friends with children who make good choices.

The dangers of peer pressure

Although peer pressure isn’t always bad, it has the potential to be harmful.

If your child has to choose between fitting in with their peers or making a choice they are uncomfortable with, they may experience anxiety or stress.

Furthermore, peer pressure can normalise unsafe or unkind behaviours. This can be even more of a danger when children get older. Teenagers are more likely to experiment with alcohol and drugs if they are subject to peer pressure.

How to help your child against peer pressure

No matter how much we try to protect our children from peer pressure, it is something that they will have to face.

The good news is that there are things that we can do to help them stay strong when the time comes.

Model saying no

Our children learn a lot from observing us. They often mimic the behaviours that they see us model. If you are brave enough to stand up for what you believe, your children may feel empowered to do the same.

Role play conversations

When several children are pressuring your child to make a certain choice, they may feel overwhelmed. Being able to choose to make their own choice and then put that into words is not always easy. It can help to role-play situations your child might face. Help them find words that they feel comfortable saying, and get them to practise using them.

Build up their self-esteem

To stand strong in their beliefs, a child needs a strong sense of who they are. Children with low self-esteem are more likely to seek validation from their peers. Build up their self-esteem as much as you can. By doing this, you are strengthening your child against peer pressure. Building up self-esteem isn’t just about praising your child, although specific praise can be helpful. Things like giving your child your full attention when they speak to you can help them know that you value their voice.

Encourage positive friendships

As we discussed before, the difference between positive and negative peer pressure is down to who your child is being influenced by. Encourage them to talk to you about their friendships, and help them look out for friends who are kind. If there is a friendship you notice that is positive, perhaps try to facilitate a play date outside of school to deepen the connection.

Although many children make most of their friends at school, clubs can also be a great way for them to meet people who have similar interests or hobbies.

Listen when they talk

Older children will begin to gravitate to their friends over their parents. Many children, at times, will open up to their parents a little about what is going on in their world. When they do, the temptation can be to try and fix their problems or tell them what to do. Listening without judgment, and with peace, is a skill that can take a while to master. If we manage, however, we can be a safe place for our children to come when they are unsure.

Of course, there are times when you will need to intervene for safety. At other times, you can stand by your child as they begin to work out their problems.

Let them grow their independence

For young children, you will make most of their choices for them. As your child grows up, though, it is incredibly beneficial to allow them to begin making some decisions on their own. This will help them to practise weighing up choices and consequences.

A child who is used to having decisions made for them will be more likely to follow the crowd, whereas a child who can reason and think independently will be better placed to go a different way from their peers.

Help them develop their communication skill

In order to help your child stand up against peer pressure, you need to let them find their voice. Rather than communicating on their behalf, allow them to speak for themselves as much as possible. This could mean they order their own meal at a restaurant, or that they answer a doctor’s questions during a check-up.

Developing their communication skills will help them when they are facing peer pressure and have to advocate for themselves.

A Final note

At times, your child may cave and make wrong choices. This does not mean that they are weak or bad. Rather, it means that they are learning. They are learning who they are and how to be the best version of themselves.

It can be hard to watch your child having to navigate peer pressure. By doing so, however, they can strengthen their character and learn more about who they are.

I wish you all the peace,

Hannah Louise