If reading has become a chore for your little one, you may be wondering how to bring the fun back. Reading should be a joy. A good book can open your child’s eyes to so much wonder. It can take them to depths of the ocean, or outer space.
However, as children struggle with the mechanics of language and grammar, it is easy to see how the magic gets lost.
Benefits of reading
If you are an avid reader, you will know the fun of reading, but can it be more than just fun?
Many studies show that reading can benefit children in a myriad of ways. Reading can increase a child’s vocabulary. (Everhart et al., 2002) Linguistic development can help a child to make sense of the world around them and their own experiences. (Avashni, 2021)
When your child reads a story, they often experience the events through the eyes of the characters involved. This can help them increase empathy, which is a vital social skill for later life. (Bal and Veltkamp, 2013)
How to make reading fun
Visit the library
Many libraries run free activities. However, just choosing books is fun. You could stop at the shop on the way home for reading snacks as an extra treat.
Learn by reading instructions
Let your child learn a skill from written instructions. Following a recipe or ‘how-to’ guide can be fun and empowering for your child
Many activities need supervision, but let your child take the lead. Teaching themselves will help build their confidence.
You can set up an email account for your child, using your adult account to manage it. Writing emails can encourage relationships between your child and the adults around them. For younger children, let them read the emails and dictate the reply. If you have an older child, they could type the replies, also.
Once your child has learnt how to work their email account, the fun of seeing a new email pop up will be immeasurable.
Make a reading area
Everyday activities are transformed with a change of location. Reading at a desk might be boring. Reading in a blanket den is fun.
How to create a good reading space
Your reading area can be as unique as your family.
Firstly, find a space. If you have a smaller home, then you may need to get creative.
Next, you can choose how to store books in the reading space. Perhaps create a shelf by turning a sturdy box sideways, or find an old magazine rack at a charity shop. I recommend only putting a few books out. Too many books can make choosing more difficult. If you want to add variety, you can change the book selection weekly.
Finally, make it comfortable, and fun. Cushions, and blankets are a great start.
Fun books that your child will love reading
Everyone has a different opinion on what the best children’s books are. This changes, of course, with time, and all the other different factors which make tastes unique. There is no definitive list of the greatest children’s books, however, there are lots of great books to discover.
Some children enjoy fact books, others enjoy stories. If you know other families that love reading, perhaps arrange a book swap to discover some new favourites.
For other book ideas, check out some recommendations below.
Books for under 7-year-olds
Books for over 7-year olds
Enid Blyton Books
Julia Donaldson Books
Dr. Seuss Books
Roald Dahl Books
David Walliams Books
Jill Tomlinson Books
A final note
Whatever you end up reading, have fun. I would love to hear how you choose to make memories reading with your child.
I wish you all the peace,
Hannah Louise
References
Bal, P. Matthijs, and Martijn Veltkamp. “How Does Fiction Reading Influence Empathy? An Experimental Investigation on the Role of Emotional Transportation.” PLoS ONE, vol. 8, no. 1, 30 Jan. 2013, journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0055341, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0055341.
Department for Education. Research Evidence on Reading for Pleasure Education Standards Research Team. May 2012.
Everhart, Nancy, et al. “Long-Term Tracking of Student Participants’ Reading Achievement in Reading Motivation Programs.” Knowledge Quest, vol. 30, no. 5, 2002, pp. 43–46, eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ652527.
International Reading Association. Leisure Reading a JOINT POSITION STATEMENT of the INTERNATIONAL READING ASSOCIATION, the CANADIAN CHILDREN’S BOOK CENTRE, and the NATIONAL COUNCIL of TEACHERS of ENGLISH. 2014.
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10 Ways to Practice Self-Care as a Parent
Self-care as a parent may seem selfish. That is not true. Looking after yourself can help you give your best to your child.
By looking after yourself, you will be showing your children how to do the same. As your children grow and develop, they will learn more from what you show them than what you tell them. You can teach them by daily example how to prioritise their own wellness.
Let’s explore some practical ways that you can care for yourself in the midst of your full schedule and chaotic days.
1. Declutter your home
Your environment impacts your mental health. Messy spaces increase the feeling of stress and anxiety, whereas tidy spaces can calm you down. This is explained more thoroughly in this article by Very Well Mind. (Lindberg, 2023)
With craft projects, toys and little treasures collected along the way, your house can soon fill up past capacity. Constantly looking for a better way to organise our homes to fit our little ones’ treasures can be stressful.
Decluttering your whole home at once may seem overwhelming. Instead, try to make a habit of throwing away anything you find that you will probably not use again. Occasionally, ask your children to choose one thing that they no longer need. As they pare down their belongings, they can learn to value and look after what they have left.
2. Eat to feel good
When life is busy, your diet can be one of the first things to suffer. It is easy to gravitate to unhealthier foods that are convenient. Sugar and caffeine can become staples as you battle sleep deprivation.
Eating well can have a huge impact on your mood and energy levels. Recent research shows that what you eat affects what kind of bacteria lives in your gut. The bacteria in your gut play a big role in both your physical and mental health. (Harvard Health Publishing, 2023)
You don’t have to spend hours cooking to prepare nutritious food. Frozen fruit and vegetables are great, when you don’t have time to peel or chop. A meal plan can help you be more intentional about what you eat. As well as including foods that nourish your body, find healthy dishes that you enjoy. You work hard and deserve good food.
Sleep deprivation is hard. Lack of sleep can hurt both your physical and mental health. (Mental Health Foundation, 2011)
Unfortunately, it doesn’t end when your child starts sleeping through the night. Late night chores, insomnia, bedwetting, and those children that always wake up at 5am, can all impact how much sleep you get.
Many of these things you can’t control. However, there are things that you can do to prioritise sleep and get more rest.
Leaving your phone outside your room means you won’t be tempted to stay awake browsing social media. Sleep meditations can help you quiet your mind. For older children who rise early, a box of quiet morning activities could keep them occupied and let you sleep longer.
On days when nothing works, remember that one day your children will become teenagers, and hopefully, love to sleep as much as you do.
4. Keep things simple
The internet is a great resource for extravagant recipes and DIY tutorials. There is an endless number of projects that you could embark on.
Please remember, just because you could do 1,000 things, you don’t have to. My rule now is, stop when it stops being fun. Unfortunately, this is only a rule for things that I am doing in the name of fun, and not applicable to housework. It is more important for you as a parent to take care of yourself than it is to rebrand as Wonder Woman.
If you are short on patience, time, or energy, there is no shame in buying a ready-made birthday cake or grabbing pizzas from the freezer for a play date. Children can have lots of fun with colouring or a board game. They do not need to make a replica of the Titanic out of toilet roll inserts and empty yoghurt pots.
At the end of the day, the memories that you will be making with them will be happier, if you are happier. Do not be ashamed to simplify.
5. Use social media with care
It isn’t hard to find a picture-perfect parent on social media. Those influencers who always look happy, rested, and calm. Their children are smiling in every video, with clean clothes and immaculate homes in the background.
When these posts come into your feed, it can make you feel small and inadequate. Subconsciously you may find yourself comparing your difficult reality to the dream being portrayed on your screen.
It is important to remember that social media is not real. If it is not staged, then it is at best a heavily edited version of the lives that the influencers are living.
Parenting is messy and difficult. Even the most grounded children struggle with big feelings. Every good parent has had bad days.
If anyone’s posts make you feel bad, unfollow them. Instead, follow people who inspire you, make you laugh or encourage you.
6. Self-care as a parent in the mornings
I do not naturally love mornings. I often wake up groggy, and still tired, unlike my children who wake up in ‘go’ mode. If my children are up first I will probably get bounced on and peppered with questions before I have remembered I am meant to be kind.
I have learnt that if you want to practise self-care in the morning, it helps to set your alarm for earlier and be the first one up. This can be tricky if you have a family of early risers, but it is worth it.
Of course, you are balancing this with the need for more sleep. This might not work for every family.
If you are able, however, take the time for you. Meditate, do a short yoga video, plan your day, whisper affirmations to yourself in the bathroom mirror, or just sit with a cup of hot coffee and browse silly videos.
Having that time will help you feel one step ahead. If you are lucky, the calm that you have found in those moments will help set the mood for the rest of the family.
7. Create a support system
As families are becoming more spread out, and the retirement age is slowly creeping higher, there is often less support for young families from grandparents.
If you do not have a natural support system, could you create one? Reach out to other parents in the same situation, and see if you can help each other out.
It doesn’t have to be babysitting. Little things, like sharing lifts to clubs, can be a great help. As well as lessening the burden, by collaborating with other parents, you will feel less alone. Also, having adults whom you trust and with whom your children are comfortable is incredibly useful for emergencies.
8. The 5-minute rule- Self care for parents when it all goes wrong
This is a rule that I have for my children, but it works for grown-ups too. Life is hard. Sometimes, the best self-care that you can give yourself as a parent is having time to not be okay.
When you feel you need it, take five minutes to just feel what you are feeling.
The rules for my children during this time, are you do not break anything, don’t do anything that would hurt yourself or someone else, and don’t say anything unkind.
I have the same rules for myself, although I added a few. During my five minutes, I am not allowed to text, or do any online shopping. I also stay away from sugar and alcohol.
After five minutes, take a big breath, decide what you need to do to move on, and do it.
Your little people are wonderful but don’t forget to fill your world with grown-ups too. Healthy relationships are imperative for your well-being. (Pezirkianidis et al., 2023)
Spending time with other parents can be a brilliant antidote to social media, reminding you that other people are fighting the same battles you are.
Also, spending time with non-parents can remind you of your interests outside of parenting.
10. Find the things that make you smile
Identify the things that energize you, or make you smile. The days go quickly, and there is lots to do, but make time for what you love.
Do you enjoy crafting? Set an evening aside every week to craft. If you are a runner, could you run the long way home, after the school drop off?
If you are not sure what would work for you, do a little experimentation. Try a few activities and see how you feel after each one.
Aim to make a moment every day that brings you joy.
A final note
These are just a few ideas of ways you can prioritise self-care as a parent.
It is you that your children will look to when life gets stormy. As their place of calm and stability, you are worth looking after. As a human-being, you are worth looking after.
What can you do today to begin to take care of yourself? You are well-practised at noticing your child’s needs and meeting them. Realise your own needs. How can you meet them?
I wish you all the peace,
Hannah
References
Casares, Whitney. “Importance of Self-Care: Why Parents Need Time out to Recharge.” HealthyChildren.org, www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Importance-of-Self-Care.aspx.
Harvard Health Publishing. “The Gut-Brain Connection.” Harvard Health, Harvard Health, 18 July 2023, www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-gut-brain-connection. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.
“Healthy Family Meals.” BBC Food, www.bbc.co.uk/food/collections/healthy_family_food.
Lindberg, Sara. “How Your Environment Affects Your Mental Health.” Verywell Mind, 23 Mar. 2023, www.verywellmind.com/how-your-environment-affects-your-mental-health-5093687. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.
Lipkin, Nicole. “The Importance of Parental Mental Health When It Comes to Our Children.” Forbes, 11 July 2023, www.forbes.com/sites/nicolelipkin/2023/07/11/the-importance-of-parental-mental-health-when-it-comes-to-our-children/. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.
Mental Health Foundation. “Sleep Matters: The Impact of Sleep on Health and Wellbeing.” Www.mentalhealth.org.uk, 2011, www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/sleep-matters-impact-sleep-health-and-wellbeing. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.
Pezirkianidis, Christos, et al. “Adult Friendship and Wellbeing: A Systematic Review with Practical Implications.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 14, no. 14, 24 Jan. 2023, doi.org/10.3389%2Ffpsyg.2023.1059057, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057.
Schwartz LMFT, David. “The Importance of Self-Care for Parents.” Psychology Today, 2021, www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/adolescents-explained/202107/the-importance-of-self-care-for-parents. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.
This Too Shall Pass- for Good Days and Bad
“This too shall pass.”
There are many different stories about the origin of this adage. It has been around for a very long time. However, it is still relevant.
As we journey through parenthood, there is a lot that these words can offer us. They are a reminder to slow down and cherish the sweet times. They are also a promise that whatever you are going through, be it sleep deprivation, tantrums, potty training or worse, it will not be your forever.
When you feel at your wit’s end
When my eldest child was a baby, he went through sleep regression. By six weeks old he was sleeping through the night and then…he wasn’t. In fact, he wasn’t wanting to sleep much at all after sundown.
We tried a lot of things, but not one of them worked. I could rock him to sleep in my arms, but the moment I so much as looked at his cot, he would snap back awake.
Of course, I knew that in time it would pass. My rational side understood that by the time he was 35 and had a full-time job, he would probably have learnt to sleep without me holding him.
It didn’t feel like it would pass, though. I was tired and fed up and had no idea what to try next. Then one day, he slept. We hadn’t changed a thing. It passed.
Sleep regression is just one example of a multitude of struggles we had when we first became parents. Every one of them worked out in the end, though in the midst they each felt never-ending.
Whatever you are going through right now, it too shall pass. This is not your forever, and there is a strong chance it will be okay.
Hold your peace
‘The Lord shall fight for you, and you hold your peace’ Exodus 14:14
I was raised in a Christian household. Growing up, I often heard this verse touted. As a child, I was convinced that it meant to do nothing, and that everything would work itself out, for God would fix it. As a child, I was wrong.
You probably know, as well as I do now, that ignoring problems does not make them go away. I am still, however, a strong advocate for holding your peace.
For everything that you face with your child, there will be elements that you can control and elements that you cannot.
Holding your peace does not mean burying your head and hoping circumstances will fall your way. It is about looking at what you can do in each situation. Brainstorm, research, and talk to other people who have had the same battles. Be proactive and come up with a plan, to do the very best with what is in your power to influence.
Maybe your plan will work, and maybe it won’t. If it doesn’t, you can try again. Try something new; Keep learning. Throughout, know that you are doing the best that you can at that moment, with your understanding as it is, and with all the other things that you are managing in life.
Sometimes you will mess up, which is part of being human. Perhaps other days you will surprise yourself with how incredibly resourceful, kind and patient you are.
Through the hard times, practise self care. Remember to look after yourself as well as your family.
Hold your peace in the knowledge, that this too shall pass, but before it does, keep trying and learning.
For the good times
This too shall pass does not just apply to the bad times, but the good times, too. With all the worries and daily to-do lists, it is easy to miss the beauty of the moments that you share with your child. Your child will grow and won’t always walk to school with their hand in yours, so cherish them.
In a world that moves too fast, find ways to slow down. Here is a great article about slowing down, which is worth a read.
Something that I have started with my children is scrapbooking. I let them borrow my phone while we are out walking, and they can take photos, and I also take photos of the adventures we have with family and friends. Once a month, I try to remember to print them off, and they can cut out the photos and stick them in their memory books and write captions. It offers a chance to relive the fun moments and solidify those glorious memories that we are making day by day.
Slow down and breathe. For this too shall pass.
How to Encourage Your Child to do Homework
Homework can become a battle. Does it need to be? Is it possible to encourage your child to study independently?
I remember being a child and hating homework. When I encourage my children to study, it’s not without empathy. Amongst the parents I know, there are wildly different attitudes to the idea of schoolwork outside of school. Some believe there isn’t enough time for children to play, so they are happy for homework to be forgotten. Others will sit with their child and ensure every task is completed.
Is homework beneficial?
As with many topics, experts do not agree whether homework is beneficial or not. There is more consensus that homework benefits older children, rather than younger ones.(Goodwin, 2023) Here is a really interesting article exploring some of the pros and cons.
For younger children, there are concerns that too much homework hampers play. Play is important as it is how young children learn and develop. Reading with young children, however, can be extremely beneficial. As well as boosting their cognitive skills, reading benefits children socially and emotionally. (Collier, 2019) Of course, it is important to keep reading fun, so books remain a joy rather than a chore.
For older children, homework can offer more than just an improvement in their grades. Managing their learning outside of the classroom can develop important life skills and self-discipline. Parents can also use homework to be involved in the child’s learning and understand what they are doing at school. (Orr, 2023)
The attitude
Perhaps some of the facts that our older children are poring over during homework sessions will help them later in life, or some may not. What will last are the positive mindsets and attitudes that can be fostered through homework.
These three lessons in attitude are worth focusing on.
The wisdom of planning tasks– Time management is a skill that will benefit your child in their adult years. Time management can take time to learn, so practising it at a young age is worth the effort.
How to work and then play. We have probably all heard the adage, ‘Eat the frog. ‘ It is reported to have come from Mark Twain, quoted as having said, ‘Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.’ Eating a live frog is a bad idea. Getting your work out of the way so that you can enjoy playing is a better idea.
What it feels like to take pride in what they do. As well as learning the subjects, during the school years, children are also learning about themselves. By truly trying their best on homework projects, they can explore their potential to grow and improve.
How much to help
Homework can be much more fun when you are a grown-up and the work is no longer your own. This seems to be most evident when homework gets crafty. In my son’s first term at school, they were asked to make rockets from household items and bring them in. There were 28 rockets with definite five-year-old vibes; Two rockets, however, were so detailed, intricate and fancy that you had to wonder if a child was allowed within five feet of them.
While helping heavily or simply doing their homework while they watch cartoons might seem kind at the time, it can be counterproductive. Children need to be given the space to push their limits and find out what they are capable of. Showing them what you are capable of will do nothing to build their self-esteem or develop their skill sets.
How much you help will depend on the age of your child. Little ones often need a lot more assistance. For younger children, take everything step by step, letting them do as much as they can at each stage. Let them help to plan and to troubleshoot when things go wrong.
As your child gets older, increase their independence in line with what they can handle. When you do help, try to do so by teaching them new skills rather than just doing it for them
The more that you let children do for themselves, the greater their sense of ownership of the project becomes.
How to cope with homework meltdowns
During the first UK Covid-19 lockdown, I home-schooled my son or at least tried to. It did not go well. We both ended up angry and frustrated. He had more than one meltdown, and truth be told, I wasn’t peaceful or kind.
The second COVID-19 lockdown, I wanted to do better. I would not fight. We told my son it was up to him how much he did. However, privileges like watching a screen, staying up late or having fun days out were contingent on doing the essential homeschooling tasks. If he felt tired, he could play, read, or colour. When he was caught up on homeschooling, the privileges were back.
I have carried this strategy through to weekly homework, and it works well. There are days when they choose to do something else first, but they always come back to their homework. They enjoy the extra privileges that homework unlocks
I believe that it is important to teach children to make the right choices through discipline, rather than control them through fights.
If you are having homework battles, remember to talk to your child. There might be parts of the homework that they struggle with. You can encourage them to explore creative ways to overcome the difficulties. For example, if they feel too tired to study, a snack and a small break before studying might help.
You don’t have to shout, drag them to the table, or staple their sleeves to the textbooks. Leave the books on the table ready for them, but reserve certain privileges for after homework is finished. An important one is screen.
Screen is now a big part of most children’s lives. It is not bad in itself, but without moderation can become addictive. Many games and YouTube videos are fast-moving, delivering quick hits of dopamine and endorphins, with minimal effort from the child. These chemicals are addictive and make focusing for a long time harder. (Luker, 2022) Reserve screen for after homework. This will encourage any young gamers to prioritise homework, and they will be studying with their brains still switched on
Tips, tricks and staying sane
Keep to a schedule. Have a set time for homework. Find what works for you.
Consider doing homework before screen time. Once they are sat in front of a show or video game, a child may let their brain switch off for a bit. It can be a drag for them to pull back to work mode.
Make a space. Even if it is just the kitchen table, designate a homework spot. Clear off anything that could be distracting and help them set everything they need out.
Teach them to plan. When children are older and are juggling more tasks, it may be worth getting a student diary. When they come home each day, build the habit of planning out a time for any homework that they have been given.
Praise what they do well. For any other perfectionists out there, I know this one is difficult. We want our children’s work to be the very best it can be and point to what they can improve. Unfortunately, pointing out mistakes can set a negative mindset. They see themselves as not very good and perform accordingly. Instead, try and find things that they have done well and praise them for it. Flip the narrative so they see themselves as thorough, tidy, and creative workers. It is amazing how quickly they begin to live up to the new reality you have created.
A final note
As with all things, be patient. It may seem like the world, but one piece of homework missed will not break you or your child long-term.
I wish you all the peace
Hannah
References
Collier, Ellie. “Why Is Reading so Important for Children.” The Hub | High Speed Training, High Speed Training, 24 May 2019, www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/hub/why-is-reading-important-for-children/. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.
Dungy, Tony. “Motivating Kids to Give Their Best.” All pro Dad, 21 July 2017, www.allprodad.com/motivating-kids-to-give-their-best/.
Goodwin, Cara. “Is Homework Good for Kids? | Psychology Today United Kingdom.” Www.psychologytoday.com, 3 Oct. 2023, www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/parenting-translator/202309/is-homework-good-for-kids. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.
Herrity, Jennifer. “20 Ways You Can Benefit from Time Management.” Indeed Career Guide, 22 Jan. 2022, www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/benefits-of-time-management.
Luker, Edward. “Are Video Games and Screens an Addiction?” Mayo Clinic Health System, Mayo Clinic Health System, 1 July 2022, www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/are-video-games-and-screens-another-addiction. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.
McIntyre, Julie. “How Young Children Develop Pride in Self.” Blog.concordiashanghai.org, 28 Oct. 2021, blog.concordiashanghai.org/how-young-children-develop-pride-in-self.
Orr, Derek. “The Pros and Cons of Homework.” Oxford Learning, Oxford Learning, 10 Feb. 2023, www.oxfordlearning.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-homework/. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.
When to Set a Routine for Your Baby
When you have a baby, you will hear lots of talk about setting a routine. This might not sound like the worst idea. Life with a newborn can feel chaotic.
Grown-up humans love predictability and preset plans. Babies, however, come to you unprogrammed, with no concept of time or scheduling. Their constantly changing and unpredictable needs can be exhausting. Babies are little, but they have a huge impact. Like a lot of new parents, you may feel eager to calm the chaos.
So, when can you set a routine for a baby?
Why wait to set a routine?
The most important thing, especially the first few months, is to ensure that your and your baby’s needs are met.
A fundamental need for your baby is food. There is a lot of debate regarding whether to feed a baby at set times or to feed on demand.
As with many areas of parenting, there are valid arguments on both sides. A 2012 study showed that feeding a baby on a schedule can be better for the mother’s overall well-being. The same study shows that babies who feed on demand are more successful academically later in life. (Lacovou and Sevilla, 2012)
If you want to breastfeed up until weaning, feeding on demand can help. Many mothers stop breastfeeding early due to problems with milk supply. A baby’s natural feeding patterns stimulate milk production. As your little one grows, they need more milk per feed. Your baby can encourage your body to meet the increasing demands by cluster feeding. Cluster feeding is exhausting, but it works.(USDA)
During these first few months, sleep patterns will fluctuate, too. Although this is normal, it can be frustrating.
Keeping up with the needs of a newborn is hard. Once the baby is settled, it is important to take care of yourself. The priority during this stage is keeping everyone well. The pressure to keep to a schedule too early can add unnecessary stress.
When should you set a routine for baby?
There are many opinions about the right time to set a routine for your baby. It is important to remember that while opinions differ, so do babies. What works for one family may not work for you.
Recommendations can vary from six weeks to six months. By as early as two months, you may find that a routine is beginning to emerge. (Dougherty, 2022) Just remember to be kind to yourself. It will take time for you and your baby to fall into a working rhythm.
If a routine hasn’t emerged after a few months, you can proactively work towards one. This could take time. You may establish a routine which initially works beautifully, only to find that a few months on, it no longer works. Don’t despair. Babies are unpredictable. Just adapt where needed, and try again.
For some people, living out of routine is not physically possible. Modern life puts a lot of demands on new parents. If you need to set a routine earlier on, there are some great online resources available from sites like Baby Center.
The benefits of a routine
Establishing a routine can have advantages for both you and your baby. For you as a grown-up, having your baby follow a routine means you can too. You will also know when your baby is most likely to sleep, so you can make tentative plans. Routines can also reduce your stress and improve your sleep. (Brennan, 2021)
As your baby grows they will become increasingly aware of the new and unfamiliar world around them. Having some predictability in their day can be comforting, and help them to feel safe. (“The Benefits of Routines for Babies and Toddlers”)
How to set a schedule for your baby
Work with what is there. If a routine is already beginning to emerge naturally, start there. It is better not to change too much, too soon. If you need to move feeding or sleeping times, move them a little at a time.
Make bedtimes relaxing. Choose a few activities to build a bedtime routine with your little one. You could include things like baths, nighttime feeds, or relaxing music. Although they may not yet follow along, reading aloud to your newborn can be a bonding experience. Find what works for you.
Consider a dream feed. Some experts suggest waking your baby for a dream feed at around ten or eleven PM before you go to sleep. Dream feeds can prevent your baby from waking up hungry and may improve the night’s sleep for the whole family. (Wisner, 2020)
Monitor naps. It is worth being aware of how much sleep your baby needs. If a baby sleeps too long, they may not sleep as well at night. Long naps can seem like a blessing but try to keep them under two hours. Naps earlier in the day are better, as they are less likely to impact bedtime.
What a healthy schedule looks like
A healthy schedule should be workable. A workable schedule will look different for every family. Focus on what benefits both you and your baby.
The most important thing is remembering to be flexible. When growth and development leaps happen, sleep patterns can be drastically affected. There will also be external factors, which will throw you off your routine some days. If your schedule is already flexible, these changes will have less impact on you and your newborn.
A final note
When you try to set a routine, for you and baby, it will be a learning curve for you both. Be patient. If things don’t fall into place at first, adapt if needed and keep trying.
It is always helpful to build a reliable support system. Don’t be ashamed to accept help.
When it goes to plan, I am happy for you. When it doesn’t, breathe.
Bell, Sophie. “Seven Steps to Creating a Successful Baby Routine.” BabyCentre UK, Sept. 2021, www.babycentre.co.uk/a1051918/seven-steps-to-creating-a-successful-baby-routine. Accessed 13 Nov. 2024.
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Calm to the Storm- an introduction
Parenthood can be magical. Cuddles with your newborn, days at the beach watching your toddler play with the waves, pumpkin patch adventures, or muddy puddle walks; These are the moments many of us look forward to when we welcome our first child.
The reality of parenthood
If you already have children, you know that there is another side of parenting. It is often messy, exhausting, and demoralising. Parenting can bring out the very best in us, but often also our worst.
Since I became a mother, I have found a side of me that is kind, resilient and resourceful. I have also discovered how grumpy, controlling, and impatient I can become. It is easier to be a nice person when you have had sleep and hot coffee, and you aren’t trying to tame a tempestuous two-year-old in the middle of a grocery store.
Children have the potential to rage through our homes, our days and our souls leaving a trail of destruction, frustration, and Lego. They are not unlike a tropical storm. Just slightly noisier, and they want more snacks.
Bringing calm to the storm
Our children may test every boundary and push us to our limits. They rarely, however, act with malicious intent. That is, they break us by accident, not on purpose.
They are trying to find their way in a world that they do not understand and to follow rules that they don’t yet know. We tell them to control their emotions, but sometimes their emotions feel bigger than they are.
As parents, we have a wonderful opportunity. We have the potential to be a refuge for our little ones. A light for them when things grow murky. We can bring calm to their storm. Even more, we can begin to teach them, through example, how to find their own peace.
The purpose of Calm to the Storm is to explore practical ways to be a joyful, effective and calm parent. As well as looking at creative solutions to parenting dilemmas, we will look at parenting from a scientific and psychological perspective. When you understand the ways that your child learns and develops you can make more informed choices that benefit your child.
As well as parenting, we will also look at self-care and ways to safeguard your own mental health. After all, if we want to be our child’s anchor of peace in the storm, we must first ground ourselves.
About me
My name is Hannah, and I am the mother of two. I am also an author with a passion for child psychology.
I was raised in the age when authoritarian parenting was seen as the only viable option. When my eldest was born I tried the same parenting techniques that were used on me as a child. They did not work. I tried to use the same techniques a little harder, which in truth just meant raising my voice and threatening bigger punishments. It still did not work.
Thus began my 10-year journey into looking for parenting methods that did work. It started with reading books and articles by leading child psychologists. As my interest in the subject grew, I returned to college and took courses on child psychology and children’s mental health. I know so much more now than I did at the start. However, the more that I learn the more I realise how limited my understanding is. Every child is so unique and is a mini universe unto themselves. I hope to continue learning, and I hope that you will learn alongside me.
A final note
There are many ways to learn. Science and psychology have a lot to teach us. So does experience. When we come together and share our lived or second hand experiences we can’t help but become a little wiser. Therefore I would love to hear from anyone reading this. Feel free to comment or email.
