How to Encourage Your Child to do Homework

Homework can become a battle. Does it need to be? Is it possible to encourage your child to study independently?

I remember being a child and hating homework.  When I encourage my children to study it’s not without empathy. Amongst the parents I know, there are wildly different attitudes to the idea of schoolwork outside of school.  Some believe there isn’t enough time for children to play, so are happy for homework to be forgotten.   Others will sit with their child and ensure every task is completed.

Is homework beneficial?

As with many topics, experts do not agree if homework is beneficial, or not. There is more consensus that homework benefits older children, rather than younger ones.^{(Goodwin, 2023)} Here is a really interesting article exploring some of pros and cons.

For younger children, there are concerns that too much homework hampers play.  Play is important as it is how young children learn and develop. Reading with young children, however, can be extremely beneficial. As well as boosting their cognitive skills, reading benefits children socially and emotionally. ^{(Collier, 2019)} Of course, it is important to keep reading fun, so books remain a joy rather than a chore.

For older children, homework can offer more than just an improvement in their grades.   Managing their learning outside of the classroom can develop important life skills and self-discipline.  Parents can also use homework to be involved in the child’s learning and understand what they are doing at school. ^{(Orr, 2023)}

The attitude

Perhaps some of the facts that our older children are pouring over during homework sessions will help them later in life, or some may not.  What will last, are the positive mindsets and attitudes that can be fostered through homework.

These three lessons in attitude are worth focusing on.

1.  The wisdom of planning tasks– Time management is a skill that will benefit your child in their adult years. Time management can take time to learn, so practising it at a young age is worth the effort.
2. How to work and then play.   We have probably all heard the adage, ‘Eat the frog’. It is reported to have come from Mark Twain, quoted as having said, ‘Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.’ Eating a live frog is a bad idea. Getting your work out of the way so that you can enjoy playing is a better idea.
3. What It feels like to take pride in what they do. As well as learning the subjects, during the school years children are also learning about themselves. By truly trying their best on homework projects, they can explore their potential to grow and improve.

How much to help

Homework can be much more fun when you are a grown-up and the work is no longer your own.  This seems to be most evident when homework gets crafty.  In my son’s first term at school, they were asked to make rockets from household items and bring them in.  There were 28 rockets with definite five-year-old vibes; Two rockets, however, were so detailed, intricate and fancy that you had to wonder if a child was allowed within five feet of it.

While helping heavily, or simply doing their homework while they watch cartoons, might seem kind at the time, it can be counterproductive. Children need to be given the space to push their limits and find out what they are capable of. Showing them what you are capable of will do nothing to build their self-esteem or develop their skill sets.

How much you help will depend on the age of your child. Little ones often need a lot more assistance. For younger children, take everything step by step, letting them do as much as they can at each stage.  Let them help to plan, and to troubleshoot when things go wrong.

 As your child gets older, increase their independence in line with what they can handle. When you do help, try to do so by teaching them new skills rather than just doing it for them

 The more that you let children do for themselves, the greater their sense of ownership of the project becomes.  

How to cope with homework meltdowns

During the first UK Covid 19 lockdown, I home-schooled my son or at least tried to.  It did not go well. We both ended up angry and frustrated. He had more than one meltdown, and truth be told, I wasn’t peaceful or kind.

The second Covid-19 lock down I wanted to do better. I would not fight. We told my son it was up to him how much he did. However, privileges like watching a screen, staying up late or having fun days out were contingent on doing the essential homeschooling tasks. If he felt tired, he could play, read, or colour. When he was caught up on homeschooling, the privileges were back.

I have carried this strategy through to weekly homework and it works well. There are days when they choose to do something else first, but they always come back to their homework. They enjoy the extra privileges that homework unlocks

I believe that it is important to teach children to make the right choices through discipline, rather than control them through fights.

If you are having homework battles remember to talk to your child. There might be parts of the homework that they struggle with. You can encourage them to explore creative ways to overcome the difficulties. For example, if they feel too tired to study, a snack and a small break before studying might help.

You don’t have to shout, drag them to the table, or staple their sleeves to the textbooks. Leave the books on the table ready for them, but reserve certain privileges for after homework is finished. An important one is screen.

Screen is now a big part of most children’s lives. It is not bad in itself, but without moderation can become addictive. Many games and YouTube videos are fast-moving, delivering quick hits of dopamine and endorphins, with minimal effort from the child. These chemicals are addictive, and make focusing for a long time harder. ^{(Luker, 2022)} Reserve screen for after homework. This will encourage any young gamers to prioritise homework, and they will be studying with their brains still switched on

Tips, tricks and staying sane

1. Keep to a schedule. Have a set time for homework.  Find what works for you.
2. Consider doing homework before screen time.  Once they are sat in front of a show or video game a child may let their brain switch off for a bit.  It can be a drag for them to pull back to work mode.
3. Make a space.  Even if it is just the kitchen table, designate a homework spot.  Clear off anything that could be distracting and help them set everything they need out.
4. Teach them to plan.  When children are older and are juggling more tasks, it may be worth getting a student diary.  When they come home each day, build the habit of planning out a time for any homework that they have been given.
5. Praise what they do well.  For any other perfectionists out there, I know this one is difficult.  We want our children’s work to be the very best it can be and point to what they can improve.  Unfortunately, pointing out mistakes can set a negative mindset.  They see themselves as not very good and perform accordingly. Instead, try and find things that they have done well and praise them on it.  Flip the narrative so they see themselves as thorough, tidy, and creative workers.  It is amazing how quickly they begin to live up to the new reality you have created.

A final note

As with all things be patient.  It may seem like the world, but one piece of homework missed will not break you or your child long-term.

I wish you all the peace

Hannah

References

Collier, Ellie. “Why Is Reading so Important for Children.” The Hub | High Speed Training, High Speed Training, 24 May 2019, www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/hub/why-is-reading-important-for-children/. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.

Dungy, Tony. “Motivating Kids to Give Their Best.” All pro Dad, 21 July 2017, www.allprodad.com/motivating-kids-to-give-their-best/.

Goodwin, Cara. “Is Homework Good for Kids? | Psychology Today United Kingdom.” Www.psychologytoday.com, 3 Oct. 2023, www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/parenting-translator/202309/is-homework-good-for-kids. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.

Herrity, Jennifer. “20 Ways You Can Benefit from Time Management.” Indeed Career Guide, 22 Jan. 2022, www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/benefits-of-time-management.

Luker, Edward. “Are Video Games and Screens an Addiction?” Mayo Clinic Health System, Mayo Clinic Health System, 1 July 2022, www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/are-video-games-and-screens-another-addiction. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.

McIntyre, Julie. “How Young Children Develop Pride in Self.” Blog.concordiashanghai.org, 28 Oct. 2021, blog.concordiashanghai.org/how-young-children-develop-pride-in-self.

Orr, Derek. “The Pros and Cons of Homework.” Oxford Learning, Oxford Learning, 10 Feb. 2023, www.oxfordlearning.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-homework/. Accessed 20 Nov. 2024.